Pride Will Be Your Downfall
by wagepeace
Summary: Lily isn't the book worm most people make her out to be and James isn't the heartless asshole everyone thinks he is... so how do these two misunderstood people find their way into one another's life and heart?
1. Chapter 1

"Don't _touch_ me," she whispered harshly, throwing his hand off her shoulder as if it burned her. "I don't want you any where near me, don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't even think about me. Just… get away from me" she sighed defeatedly.

"But-"

"I said go!" she yelled, her back to him. She couldn't and wouldn't look at him. Her throat was burning as she tried not to cry, she was too angry to cry, too embarrassed and humiliated.

"I'm sorry," he said before sighing and walking away.

She took a deep breath, _sorry looses its effect after the hundredth or so time_ she thought bitterly to herself. She clenched her fists and tensed her body, taking a deep breath in she then let it all relaxing her muscles and blowing the air out of her mouth. She stood up straight, smoothed her dark red hair out of her face and wiped away the one or two tears that had fallen on her pale cheeks. Shaking herself out of her self-pitying thoughts, Lily Evans left the classroom in which she had just caught her boyfriend of five months with his hands under some other girl's skirt… again.

"You knew this was going to happen. You let him walk all over you. You knew he was a jerk and you just couldn't stop yourself could you? Nooo, of course not… people can change, everyone deserves a second chance… even an 11th chance… my ass" she muttered angrily to herself, mocking the very words she had used to defend him to her friend. She walked slowly back to the Gryffindor tower. "Stupid boy, stupid… stupidness, stupid… stupid inability to think of things that are stupid!" she huffed angrily, stamping her foot a little in frustration. She didn't realize that she was no longer alone.

"Aw, is little Evan throwing a tantrum like the baby she is?" someone chuckled.

Lily's head snapped in the direction of the insult, rolling her eyes and sighing tiredly when she saw it was James Potter, the only Gryffindor should couldn't stand.

"Rain check Potter? I'm really not up for another bout of humiliation, give me a few hours to recover" she sighed. Usually bashing Potter was what she did best but right now, she was just hurt and tired and she just wanted to go to bed.

"Who is it who knocked the high and mighty Lily Evans off her high horse, I must meet this person, we are destined to be best friends" Potter chuckled. "Or are you still reeling from _our_ last encounter, I know your delicate female sensibilities have trouble handling someone who doesn't adore you but I didn't think you were this much of a wuss."

Lily ignored him and kept walking. _Nice, way to kick a girl when she's down… what a low life prick_ she thought to herself as she tried to get to the common room before she started to cry. She couldn't deal with the salt he was rubbing into her gaping wounds. Her pride had been severely cut down today and she wasn't sure she could handle much more without a major breakdown.

"What did you get less that outstanding on a paper? Did little Miss Perfect slip up? You gonna go cry now? Poor Evans… isn't as perfect as she wants everyone to think she is…" Potter leered as he followed her to the common room.

"Really Potter, not tonight, okay?"

"Come on, what is it? Did you break a nail? Find a split end? Lose your favorite quill? What small thing ruined your life this time? Merlin forbid you ever have a real problem like the rest of us" he scoffed at her. Lily clenched her teeth. He always did this, belittled her life to meaningless things because his life was _so_ much harder, she thought sarcastically.

"Oh! I know, you scuffed your shoe didn't you!" he said with mock enthusiasm.

"Yeah Potter, that's it, my life is so full of meaningless trivialities that I can't handle the slightest difficulty, that's it, I scuffed my shoe and now my life is over, I guess I'll just go jump out a window" she said angrily as she spun on him, glaring through the tears in her eyes. "Fuck off Potter" she sighed tiredly, "just… leave me alone."

She didn't know what it was about James Bloody Potter that miffed her so much but he just knew how to rub her the wrong way. The slightest insult from him was jarring and even after all these years he could still get under her skin like no other. She thought it must have been because they had been friends once upon a time. Before he started noticing that she was a girl and that she wasn't a bad looking girl. Ever since he had asked her out in their third year and she had turned him down, wanting to keep their friendship, he had started to be distant, then cold and then just downright mean. If she had known that their friendship would have deteriorated anyways, she would have said yes. She missed having him as her best friend but fate didn't have that in her plan for the two of them. She had much more cruel intentions.

Lily had been friends with all four of the boys, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter before she and Potter had their falling out. Sirius had mostly sided with James. He didn't outright insult her the way James did but he did help James play pranks on her. Remus had stayed neutral. He and Lily still talked and hung out, they were still friends. Peter only talked to Lily when James wasn't around, he didn't want to anger the unofficial ringleader of their group but he also liked Lily a lot and Lily seemed to understand this and didn't hold it against him. Remus however went so far as to defend Lily to the others as well as warn her about pranks they planned to pull, which is why the others stopped telling him about the pranks they pulled on Lily.

Lily managed to choke the password out when she reached the portrait and stepped into the common room to find it mostly empty. It was dinnertime and Lily had left early to get some work done when she stumbled upon her boyfriend trying to remove someone else's knickers with his teeth.

The sobs she had been holding back burst forward then and it was all she could do not to collapse right there in front of the entrance. She sat at one of the tables near the entrance and cried. Her heart hurt… it sounded stupid but it hurt and she just wanted it to stop. Lily knew that Charlie wasn't the love of her life but she had cared about him and despite his cheating, she thought he had cared for her too… the first time he had apologized and blamed it on too many firewiskeys and she had forgiven him. The second time he said that the girl had kissed him and Lily had just walked in at the wrong time. This time, he was out of excuses. All of the nice things he'd done for her and said to her played in her mind as she tried to cry the hurt from her chest.

"Lily?" someone whispered tentatively.

Lily's head shot up from its position on her folded arms and she hastily wiped away the tears, sniffling to try and clear her nasal passages and turned around with a bright smile on her face to greet whoever it was behind her.

"Hey Remy, what's up?" she asked, trying to sound like nothing was wrong but her puffy red-rimmed eyes, red nose, and the tell tale crack in her voice gave her away.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked gently as he put his books on the table and sat down next to her.

She thought about playing stupid but Remus knew her better than that and she knew there was no way she would be able to get away with it. She blew out a watery sigh before smiling and giving a halfhearted bitter chuckle.

"He cheated on me again" she said, her voice wavering. She looked up at Remus, giving him that "I'm being brave and pretending I don't care" smile which pushed the tears out of her eyes and she sniffled again, taking a deep breath to try and stop her tears and calm herself down.

"Oh, Lils, that sucks… he's a jerk. He doesn't deserve you, your better than he is" Remus said, feeding her the standard lines that friends always say to friends who have just broken up with someone about whom they still care.

Lily laughed bitterly "yeah, but if I'm so much better than he is, then why am I the one crying?" she asked, giving him a look. He smiled gently down at her and gave her a hug.

"Because he's too stupid to see a good thing when it's right in front of him"

Lily started to cry again, quietly this time when the portrait hole opened.

"Speaking of which…" Remus muttered when he saw James walk in.

Lily laughed quietly and pulled out of Remus' arms and whipped away the tears.

"You alright?" Remus asked, looking at her skeptically.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright. I just need to get some sleep is all. Thanks Remy, I'll see you later" she smiled and stood up. She gave Remus a quick kiss on the cheek and left without acknowledging James at all.

James watched her climb the stairs to the dorms and sighed. She looked… so small, so exhausted and fragile. He ignored the pang in his chest and walked over the where Remus still sat.

"What the hell was that?" James asked irritably. Remus looked at him and shook his head slightly.

"Rondins cheated on her… again," Remus explained with a sigh.

"What do you mean again? He cheated on her before and she didn't pitch his sorry ass?" James asked incredulously.

"Yeah, this is the third time. I guess she got tired of it" he said with a shrug.

"That jerk" James exclaimed. "The nerve of that guy, he's got a great girl and he goes and fucks around on her? What the hell is wrong with him? He's a disgrace to wizards everywhere!" James said, starting to get worked up.

"Since when do you care what happens to Lily?" Remus asked.

"It's not Evans, it the principle of the thing. He gives all blokes a bad name. As soon as this gets out it's going to make it then times harder for the rest of us to get a bird. They are all going to be thinking 'if Lily Evans can't even keep a bloke, what shot do I have?' Great, this is just bloody great!"

"It's not like you date anyways, so it won't matter for you. Besides, Lily isn't that great of a catch" Remus argued.

"I could date if I wanted to and now it's just that much more difficult. And what are you talking about she's not a catch? You're friends with her, you've seen her. She may be a downright bitchy know it all but she's certainly a looker and I don't doubt she knows how to make a guy happy from what I've heard. She's smart too, maybe too smart for her own good. Any guy would be lucky to have her, the stuck up little priss that she is. I'm not so prideful that I can't appreciate a fine looking woman when I see one, however annoying she is when she opens her mouth." James explained.

Remus gave him a knowing look and rolled his eyes.

"What's that look for?" James asked angrily.

"Nothing, nothing at all" Remus chuckled. They sat in silence for a few seconds before… "Prongs fancies Lily!" Remus sang happily, ducking at the hand that shot out to hit him over the back of the head.

"I do not!" James exclaimed. "I just think she's good looking, can't blame a guy for that, it's a fact"

"Prongs and Lily sittin' in a tree!" Remus sang as he danced away from James who was trying to hit him.

"I do not!! Now shut up before someone hears you and thinks it's true! That's the last thing I need"

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G" 

"Moony! Shut UP!" James laughed throwing a pillow at his friend. Remus ducked and a distinct oomph! sounded when the pillow sailed past Remus and into the face of whoever had just walked into the common room.

"First comes love" Remus continued, a huge grin on his face.

"Oi, Padfood!" James said as Sirius face appeared from behind the pillow, "Would you bang Evans?"

"Hell yes! She's hot" Sirius said, throwing the pillow back at James who caught it and flopped back on the couch giving Remus a pointed look.

"See, she's hot, that means nothing!" James said decisively, a smug look on his face.

"You also said she was smart" Remus argued

"She's bloody brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed. "I kinda' looked at her exam once in charms, I got a near perfect score! The girl's got brains"

James laughed at his friend; laughing harder when he saw the look of disapproval Remus gave Sirius.

"See?" James asked Remus.

Remus shook his head, "I still think you fancy her" he said, sitting down next to Sirius.

"Evans? And Prongs?" Sirius said, looking at Remus in surprise. "I thought you were the smart one! Where have you been!? Prong's is bloody in love with the girl! Merlin, you're slow"

"WHAT!" James shouted, looking at Sirius with a look of outrage and shock. Remus laughed and smiled triumphantly at James. 

"I do _not_ like Evans!" James yelled. "I can't stand the little wench!"

"Come on Prongsy-boy, we know you better than that, you can't hide it from us, you fancied her since day one. Never stopped," Sirius explained as he pulled a cookie wrapped in a napkin from his pocket and started to eat it.

"Your daft! You're both insane! Have you ever seen us around each other! She nearly bites my head off every time I'm within a five foot radius of the blasted woman"

"We didn't say she fancied you back" Sirius said, giving James a look that said "you poor confused little boy"

Remus burst out laughing at the look on James' face.

"It's alright James, we don't hold it against you. You never had a shot… can't help falling for your best friend when she looks like that. It's just a shame you mucked it up the way you did, you would have had some cute James Jr.s running around" Sirius said, chuckling at the look on James' face as well.

"I don't like her!" He said slowly as if he was talking to imbeciles and he was beginning to this he was.

"Okay Prongs, whatever makes you happy" Remus said.

"I don't!!"

"Okay"

James sighed in annoyance and stomped up the stairs to the dorm.


	2. Chapter 2

James flopped onto his bed to grumble about what his friends said downstairs.

_It's totally possible for a person to see all of another person's good qualities and still not fancy them._ James thought to himself. _Sure, Evans is smart and funny and beautiful and kind and caring and adventurous but that doesn't mean that I like her. The girl is so blasted conceited and pretentious. She thinks everyone loves her, that everyone should want to be her friend. Well, I don't. and she says I'm prideful, ha! She is such a know it all. Always rasiing her hand in class and… stuff. _

James sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. How could his best friends think that he, James Potter had a _crush_ on Lily Evans. They were supposed to know him! Some best friends they were.

The door to the room opened and Peter walked in.

"Hey mate" James said as Peter walked over to his desk and sat down to work on some assignment he had due later the next day.

"Hey Prongs, what's up?"

"Nothing. Sirius and Remus have gotten it into their thick sculls that I fancy Lily Evans though" James scoffed. He knew Peter would get a good laugh out of this. All of his friends couldn't be bonkers.

Peter sighed, "James, the whole school knows that you fancy Lily Evans… everyone except Evans that is. The two of you are the only ones who can't see it."

James blinked in surprise.

"What is wrong with you people! I don't like Evans, I can't stand her for merlin's sake!"

"Denial is the first step to recovery" Peter muttered as he looked over his half finished essay

"And what if there isn't anything to deny!" James asked irritably. This was just getting old and annoying.

"Then I guess you're screwed because everyone thinks you're totally head over heels for the girl" Peter explained giving James a look of sympathy. James sighed in frustration and left.

It had been a few days since Lily and Charlie had broken up but she hadn't really been able to deal with it. She had tons of work to do and right then the other girls in the room were driving Lily nuts. They were laughing and talking loudly about stupid things that Lily really had no interest in. She just wanted to lay in bed and wallow in her own misery but it seemed that that was another thing fate was going to deny her. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and grabbed her cloak before stomping down the stairs and out of the common room.

_There's no where to be alone in this stupid castle. No privacy! _ She thought to herself as she made a bee line for the front doors in hopes to escape the presence of others. The castle had never seemed so small to Lily than it did right then. She just wanted to get away from everyone and even in the enormous castle, there was nowhere she could go and be certain that no one would stumble upon her.

Lily figured her best bet would be to go outside. It was getting warmer as their sixth year was coming to a close but it was still chilly enough that not too many people would be outside, preferring the warm common rooms to the bitter breeze. But a bitter breeze was just what Lily needed to match her bitter mood.

Lily couldn't see anyone on the green that sloped down to the lake in front of the castle doors. She could hear people down at the Quidditch pitch but she didn't plan on going over there so she wasn't too worried about them. Instead she walked over to a large oak tree near the lake that kids liked to congregate around when the weather was warmer, today though, Lily had it all to herself.

She sat down with her back to the tree, her legs straight out in front of her in the green grass and rested her head against the rough bark as she looked up into the branches. It was too early still for leaves but she could see a few buds that would soon open up into delicate green leaves. Spring was her favorite season and if she were not so upset she would have enjoyed the pretty scene around her.

_Its not even that I am sad that he's gone, I'm sad the relationship is gone_ Lily mused to herself as she watched the smooth surface of the lake. _It was comfortable and I was used to having him around and I did care about him. I do care about him, aside from the cheating, he is a good guy, just not a god boyfriend I suppose. _She sighed again. As much as she tried to reason it away, it still hurt. It didn't matter how she looked at it, she had been cast aside for someone else and that hurt no matter what the circumstances.

_What did I do wrong? I'm pretty… not gorgeous or anything but I'm certainly not ugly. I'm smart and I can be funny. What is it about me that make it okay for him to do that to me?_ She asked herself as she started to cry again.

Lily took a deep breath to calm herself down after she had cried herself out. Feeling a little bit better she relaxed against the tree and looked out at the grounds surrounding her. The cold breeze helped her clear her head and she resigned herself to getting over Charlie.

She sat there for a while, only making the decision to go inside when she could no longer feel her toes. She went straight up to the tower to gather her books and then went down to the common room. A few hours later Lily looked up from her transfiguration book and rubbed her eyes. Growling in frustration she grabbed the book and chucked it as far as she could. Considering she was sitting on the floor the book didn't go very far. Lily let out a frustrated shriek and flopped her head down on the table.

"Did the big mean book give little Evans a paper cut?" a voice sounded from above her.

Lily looked up and gave James a look, "what do you want now Potter?"

James sighed; he didn't like this Lily. He liked the sharp witted, sassy girl who knew how to put him in his place. He liked their banter and he liked how she challenged him. While he wouldn't admit it to anyone else, or even to himself, he liked their banter because it made it feel like they were friends in a way. He could still talk to her, even if the things he said weren't nice… he teased her, friends tease one another too. He liked talking to her and spending time with her and since they weren't exactly chummy, their arguments were how he god his fix so to speak.

"Come on Evans, why are you being like this? You're being even less fun then you normally are" James said, sitting down on the coach across from her. He wanted his sparing partner back. It had only been a few days but James had noticed that she wasn't acting like she normally did.

"Give me a day or two Potter, I'm tired. I promise I will ream you end from end in a few days, I'm just tired" Lily told him. She looked up at him and he felt that pang in his chest when he saw the defeat in her eyes.

James looked at Lily and wondered what she was thinking about. Her eyes were sad and she did look tired. James sighed in a combination of resignation and frustration.

"What are you having trouble with?" he asked her as he moved from his seat to sit on the floor so he was at her level. He picked her book up and set it on the small coffee table and looked at her.

"What?" she asked dumbly.

"You may be annoying Evans but I know you aren't daft. I asked what you are having trouble with." He held up his hand as she opened her mouth to argue. "I know you're having trouble because you just chucked your text book at a couch. People who understand what they are doing don't do that. I'm good at transfiguration, what are you having trouble with?" he asked her.

She regarded him with eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why are you helping me?" she asked skeptically.

"Can't a bloke just help a girl out?" James asked with a smile. He sighed at her look.

"Okay, you're right, I'm sick of you moping around and so this is me trying to make you less pathetic"

"Oh how sweet of you" Lily muttered sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm being nice, but I can tell when I'm not wanted. I'll see you around Evans" James said as he moved to get up.

"Wait, you're right. I just-"

"What was that? Did I just hear what I think I heard?" James asked with a huge grin on his face. "Did Lily Evans just say that I, James Potter, am right?" He held a hand to his ear to emphasize his point.

"Yes, now don't make me take it back" Lily said irritated. James chuckled and settled back into his spot.

"There's my Evans," he said

"I'm not your anything mister" Lily said with pursed lips and crossed arms. He chucked again and shook his head.

"Of course not, now what do you need help with?" He looked at all the papers around her and couldn't figure out what she was working on.

"This stupid spell to change a small thing into a big thing. I can't seem to make it work" Lily explained with furrowed brows.

He smiled at the look of confusion on her face; _she looks pretty cute like that_ he mused to himself as he thought of kissing her confusion away. Suddenly his head snapped up and his heart started beating fast. _I was not just thinking of kissing her! Bullocks, it's those prats, my mates… they've gone and given me ideas and now my thoughts are running away with it. Well, I've always known she was pretty, that doesn't mean I like her or anything_. He reasoned away his little day dream and focused on watching Lily as she tried to perform the spell. After about 45 minutes of James correcting her movements and pronunciation Lily finally had the spell down and was able to do it repeatedly without his help.

She had a huge grin on her face and her eyes shown as she turned and gave him a huge hug in her excitement. "I've been working on that for ages and I just couldn't get it! Thank you so much!" Lily gushed, as she let go of him and surveyed her work. She was very proud of herself.

"It's no problem, it's a tough spell. Something to do with making matter out of nothing… it's hard to do" James said trying to ignore the fluttering in his stomach from her hug.

"Oh, thank you so much, I was about to give up all together. Thank you!" she said again, still smiling brightly.

He hadn't had that effect on her in years and he liked it. He liked making her smile. She looked so happy and it had been so long since she had been happy because of something he had done.

"Wow, Potter, really, thanks" she said, turning to him and giving him a shy smile. "And I will stop moping and start making fun of you again, I know that's why you did this."

James gave her a forced smile. It was why he helped her, but now he was thinking he kind of liked this whole chummy thing they had going on.

"Yeah, you know me, I love being made fun of" he said dryly.

She smiled awkwardly at him and then began to gather her things together. They were the last two in the common room; it was pretty late.

"I'm gonna get to bed, I'll see you around Potter, and thanks again" Lily said as she moved towards the stair case.

"Yeah, see ya" James muttered distractedly. He was still thinking about their relationship. He was trying to figure out what exactly they had. They teased one another, and played jokes on one another and were mean to each other but they could be nice too, as was just shown during this last encounter.

James shook his head and sighed. It was late, he was tired and he wasn't sure where his thoughts were going. He lifted himself to his feet and went to the boys' staircases, thoughts of Lily still knocking around in his head.

It had been a week since James had helped Lily with that spell but they had yet to have any rows. It was oddly quiet in the common room and people had started to notice that the two weren't arguing as much as they had been. In fact, they were almost civil. Lily and James didn't hang out with one another but they managed to pass each other in the halls with just a simple nod or a polite "hey" even.

All of the sixth years were studying for finals and trying to get the last few assignments in before the term ended and they all went home for the summer.

Lily was working late one evening in the common room, staying long after everyone else had retired to their rooms. She was just about finished with her essay and decided to leave proof reading it until the morning when she was better rested when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She looked up to see none other then Sirius Black.

They regarded one another warily before Sirius ventured with a skeptical "Evans" as a way of greeting.

"Black" she said coolly. "What are you doing up this late?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm working, hence the books and parchment. You however bear no such objects and it is far too late for you to be running off to meet someone"

Sirius looked at her for a moment before he walked over to where she was sitting and sat down across from her.

"I couldn't sleep, that's all" he told her while glancing at the papers surrounding her.

Lily nodded and continued gathering her things. "Well, I will leave you to whatever it is you do when you can't sleep as I'm going to try and grab a few hours myself." She had just stood up from the table when Sirius took a deep breath.

"Evans, wait" he said, an almost pained look on his face. She turned, curious as to what he had to say to her. They had never spoken before really and she didn't know what had possessed him to start now.

"I know you don't like me much, and I'm not terribly fond of you either but James really does like you." Sirius held up a hand to silence her when she opened her mouth to protest. "I know you don't like him and I'm not asking you to but I've noticed that you two have been get along pretty civilly for the past few days and I just want you to know that if anything does develop –"

He was cut of by a scoff from Lily, which he acknowledged only by giving her a pointed look of annoyance. "That" he continued, "I will be watching you. I won't let you hurt him, he's fancied you for ages and he's really happy that you are starting to tolerate him and he thinks that he is finally going to be able to be friends with you, he hopes more then friends."

Lily looked at him, slightly taken aback not only by what he said but also by the look on his face. He wasn't joking in any way; he was completely serious which was unusual.

"He really isn't a bad guy Evans, you might want to give him a shot, you'd be lucky to have him" Sirius said before he turned and went back to his room. Lily watched him go, not saying anything before she blinked a few times and turned to go back to her own room, thoughts of James and the things Sirius had said rattling around in her head.

Lily didn't see much of James or anyone for that matter for the next week and a half as exams started and then suddenly the farewell feast was upon her. Gryffindor won both the house and Quidditch cup, which meant there would be a huge party in the common room that night.

Sure enough, the party was in full swing when she arrived. For once Lily decided to join in the fun, accepting a butterbeer that was passed to her she made her way through to crowd and happened upon Remus.

"Lily!" he shouted as he pulled her into a one armed hug, the other arm busy holding a fire whisky. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes glassy from the slight buzz he had going and Lily couldn't help but smile at him as she started to talk to her about one of their exams. She was laughing at a joke he made when Sirius and James walked over.

Sirius looked at her and gave her a nod to which she smiled before her eyes flashed over to James. Her eyes narrowed a little as she regarded him before she took a deep breath, grabbed the glass of fire whisky from Remus' hand, took a hearty gulp, coughed from the burning sensation and walked up to James, her eyes still watering a little.

"Dance with me?" she asked as she looked into his wide eyes, noticing that Remus has a similar look on his face while Sirius looked on with an air of mild approval.

James grinned and nodded, taking her hand a leading her out to the middle of the room where students had gathered to dance to the music that was playing from some unknown source.

They didn't talk much as they danced and it was a few songs until the music slowed to a calmer tone that allowed them to move closer to one another. He tentatively placed one hand on her hip, the other taking one of hers as her other had rested on his shoulder.

They didn't say anything to one another for a little bit, catching their breath before James finally broke the silence.

"Why did you ask me to dance?" he asked her, holding his breath for the answer.

"Why not?" she asked with a slight smile. He gave her a look that clearly said that that wasn't a sufficient answer to which she gave a little chuckle before looking at him again. "I guess I decided that you aren't so bad after all. Someone told me I should give you a chance and I guess I decided to listen?" she said tentatively.

James smiled at her, nodding his head as he thought about what she had just said.

"Who talked to you?" he asked after a moment.

"Oh, just some kid I ran into" she said airily. "So, what do you think? Shall we have a truce and try to get along?"

James grinned again and nodded, "yeah, I think that would be nice."

Lily smiled back at him before she put her head on his shoulder and they finished the dance in silence. Remus cut in when the next song started and he and Lily danced together for a while. Peter danced with her too and even Sirius gave her a little twirl at one point.

Before they knew it they were dragging their feet up the stairs to their rooms and falling asleep before their heads even hit the pillows.

The train ride was uneventful and James didn't see Lily until they arrived at the station.

Lily gave Remus a big hug and made him promise to write, Peter she gave a little hug and wished him a happy vacation. Sirius shook her hand with a roguish smile and gave her a nod.

Lily turned to James with a sigh.

"Have a good summer Lily," he said with a smile.

"You too James" she smiled back and gave him a wave as she walked over to the wall separating the station from the muggle world. James watched her as she disappeared through it, thoughts of the summer to come and some more than friendly thoughts of Lily jumping across his mind.

"Told you ya' fancied her" Remus said with a laugh, clapping a hand on James' back. James laughed with the other boys as he put Remus in a headlock, giving him a noogie.

"Yeah, something like that" he muttered as the four walked through the wall back into the muggle world to start what they hoped would be an exciting but relaxing summer.


	3. Chapter 3

"Potter

"Potter?"

"Oh, we're back to that are we?" James asked with a smile as he walked into the Heads compartment on the first of September.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, ignoring his question.

"I'm here reporting for Head duties," he said with a salute. Lily laughed before she realized he was serious.

"You're head boy? Really?" she asked. She looked less then thrilled James noticed but decided that was just the shock. His parent's had looked the same way when they found out too.

"Yup" he said with a nod as he sat down next to her. "Remus told me a few things but I'm still not sure how this whole thing works out. I guess you're just going to have to take me under your wing." He gave her a wink and he was glad to see the smile on her face.

"It will certainly be an interesting year, if not a productive one" she sighed and pushed some of her hair behind her ear.

He watched her movements with interest. "You know," he started "I thought about writing you over the break."

"Yeah?" she asked, her eyebrows raised and green eyes curious. "Why didn't you?"

"I wasn't sure what to say actually"

"A simple "hey Lily, how's your summer going? PS I'm head boy, surprise!' would have been good" she told him with a smile. He laughed and nodded his head.

"I'll remember that"

They fell in to an easy silence and it was a little while before the door to their compartment burst open with a loud "are you decent?!" followed by Sirius with his hand covering his eyes, hand groping in front of him so he wouldn't run into anything.

"Sorry, I tried to stop him but he got away from me" Remus said as he and Peter walked in behind Sirius.

James and Lily laughed and Sirius uncovered his face to look at them.

"Oh, you're dressed, good" he said before dropping into a seat and popping one of the candies sitting on the table into his mouth.

"How was your summer, Sirius?" Lily asked.

"It was pretty good Lily bean, how was yours?"

"Lily bean?" James asked before Lily could.

"Yeah, like a vanilla bean but Lily because her name isn't vanilla" Sirius said as if it was obvious.

The others nodded as if this made sense. The train ride continued with Lily and the four boys talking a laughing until they were almost to school and the three who didn't belong there left to change into their robes.

"So Lily how was your summer?" James asked when Lily walked back into the compartment in her school uniform.

Lily looked at him as if she was actually examining him. He looked right back at her, a puzzled expression on his face. "What's up?" He asked her when she didn't answer.

"It's going to make you really uncomfortable" she said.

"Try me, I don't scare so easy" he said.

"My parents died," she said. James' face fell, he mouth opening to say something but nothing came to mind.

"I told you," she said with a small smile. It hadn't become any easier for her to tell people over the summer, there just didn't seem to be a good way to say it.

"Oh, Merlin, Lily, that sucks. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Like what? It's not really something that you just start out with, you know?"

"Yeah" he said looking at his hands. "I'm sorry," he said, not sure what else to say.

"Thanks. I'm doing alright, don't worry," She said with a smile, hoping that the awkwardness would pass soon.

"How? I mean, how did they die if you don't mind me asking?" he asked tentatively.

"Car accident" she said, not offering anything more, obviously not interested in getting into the nitty gritty of the situation.

"Damn" he muttered. She nodded, not sure what else to do.

"It's okay James, really, I don't want you to feel weird or anything."

"No, yeah, no, I know. I just can't imagine is all… that really sucks. We will just have to make this year really great, yeah?" He said deciding that he wasn't going to dwell on it. Sure he was uncomfortable and sad for her but she seemed okay and he didn't want her to have to remember all of it all over again so he decided that he would get over it, she was still the same Lily, just a little more mature he imagined.

Lily nodded and smiled, glad that he didn't seem to think that this somehow made her a whole different person. All of her friends from home had been tip toeing around her and the subject all summer and she was a little tired of people looking at her and waiting for her to break down into sobs. Sure, it still hurt and she really missed them but she also understood that her life would go on and she slowly started to feel better.

The welcoming feast was uneventful, Gryffindor gaining nine new members who were greeted with loud cheers and beaming smiles. Lily and James led everyone to the dorms, asking the first years to wait for a minute before going up to their beds. After the nine new members were there Lily gave them a little speech about how she and James were there if the new students had any questions about classes or homesickness or anything. Lily smiled warmly at them as they walked up to their rooms.

Flopping into an armchair Lily let out a sigh and closed her eyes. James joined her on a nearby chair.

"Tired?" he asked, looking over at her and admiring her natural beauty.

"Yeah, little bit. You?"

"Definitely but I told the guys I'd wait for them down here, they want to come see the new rooms"

"They would," she muttered dryly, a small smile gracing her face nonetheless. "It's nice to be back" she sighed.

"Yeah, I love it here, this castle is more my home than my parent's house is."

"Same"

"_Why_ are you both still dressed?!" Sirius questioned as soon as the portrait opened.

"_Why_ wouldn't we be?" James replied mockingly.

"We had the talk about the birds and the bees James, do we need to go over it again?" Sirius winked at Lily who chuckled and shook her head.

"There are not birds and no bees right now _Padfoot_, Merlin, get your head out of the gutter. A guy and a girl _can_ be friends, right Moon dog?" James looked expectantly at Remus.

"Uh… yeah… sure, okay" Remus said, his tone and look clearly saying "NO!"

"So, Lily," Remus interrupted, "how are you?"

"Good, tired, you?"

"Me too!! So, lets all head over to those nice cushy rooms you all have going for you!" Sirius explained, grabbing Lily's hand and pulling her to her feet to drag her out the door.

James laughed before he and Remus followed.

"Where's Peter?" Lily asked once Sirius had slowed down and dropped her hand.

"Ate too much, went to sleep" Remus explained.

"Mmm, sleep" Lily muttered dreamily. "Lizard breath"

"What? Hey!" Remus shouted, confused.

"Hello dear" the portrait in front of Lily smiled.

"Can we change that to 'sleep', the new password is 'sleep'" Lily said

"Of course dearie, of course, in you go, night night"

The four of them filed in and promptly crashed onto the sofa and chairs surrounding the fireplace.

"I'm going to bed now, goodnight boys," Lily said, hauling herself to her feet and shuffling into her room.

"Night" they all muttered.

"She's looking gooood," Sirius announced a little while later, once he was sure she wasn't coming back.

"I'd do her," Remus announced, exchanging looks with Sirius, waiting for James to say something. His Jaw was clenched.

"I think I might ask her out, you know, just for a casual thing" Sirius mused aloud.

"What?!" James hissed, "not four months ago you're going on about me fancying her and then all the sudden you want to _date_ her?! And _you_" he continued, rounding on Remus "no one is 'doing' Lily, I expected for from you!"

Remus and Sirius looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

"What? What is so funny?" James asked, still seething.

"We were kidding Prongs, just trying to get a rise out of you" Remus explained once he'd caught his breath. James face relaxed, his brows furrowing, "oh" he said lamely.

"She does look good though." Sirius said. James hit him in the face with a pillow.

"I had a really nice time tonight" she smiled, looking up into his hazel eyes through her thick lashes.

"Me too" he said, a crooked smile crinkling his eyes, some dark hair falling in front of them.

Her pale hand reached out to brush it away and he caught her hand against his check. Slowly they started to lean toward one another, eyes flicking from lips back to meet the other's gaze and back. They were a breath away from each other…

"Hey kids!" a loud voice interrupted them, starling them and causing them to jump away from one another. Lily's hands were nervously smoothing her outfit, her eyes flicked from her shoes to his shirt to finally rest on the boy who interrupted them.

"Hi Sirius" she said quietly.

"Black"

"Andrews" Sirius regarded him coolly.

"We were just getting back from our date" Lilly said pointedly, giving Sirius a look.

"That's nice, and now that it's over, you can leave Andrews"

"Sirius!" Lily hissed.

"No, it's okay, I had a good time Lils, I'll see you tomorrow" he smiled before leaning over to brush a kiss on her check, his hand resting on her elbow.

"Yeah, I'll see-"

"_Bye!_" Sirius interrupted, shoving him out the door and closing it behind him.

"Sirius! Merlin, what is your problem?" Lily rounded on him, fire in her eyes, hands on her hips.

"He's a jerk! All he wants is to get in your pants… not that anyone else could fit in those things! Merlin! Are those painted on?"

"Sirius!" Her eyes widened in shock and anger.

"Really, Bean, what were you thinking? You can thank me later"

"Thank you? _THANK YOU!_"

"I said later, but now works too" he shrugged.

"Arrughh!" She screamed, "Why are you ruining my date? Why? What have I done to you?"

"He's not right for you, that's all, I don't approve."

"I don't care! You aren't my father, you don't have a say in who I date!"

"Well, I'm sure he wouldn't approve either!"

"Well I guess that doesn't matter cause he's _dead!_" she blurted out. She hadn't told the other boys. After the first few days it just seemed awkward. Sirius' face fell.

"What?" he asked quietly, his brows furrowed in concern and confusion. Lily closed her eyes, inwardly berating herself for her slipup and took a deep breath.

"This summer, my parent's died this summer, I'm sorry, I should have told you… it just never seemed like a good time and then school got underway and… I'm sorry," she sighed in defeat, dropping onto the sofa and covering her face with her hands.

"Wow, Lily, I'm sorry… wow" he muttered, dropping on the sofa next to her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it's not that I don't trust you or anything, it just-"

"No, no, I understand, don't worry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it was the beginning of the summer, I had some time to get used to it and we've been in school for almost three months, I mean… It's easier to deal with here, I'm not reminded, I can… forget I guess, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know. My parent's kinda'… disowned me" Sirius admitted.

"No" she gasped, "Sirius, god, no way!"

"Yeah," he chuckled "I know. Do the others know?"

"James does, I just kinda' told him on the train… but no one else."

Sirius nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Remus asked, walking into the heads common room. "Whoa, who died?" he asked once he felt the heavy atmosphere of the room and saw his friends sitting there quietly.

Sirius closed his eyes and grimaced at his friend's comment, Lily chuckled at the irony.

"My parents" Lily answered with a sigh. Remus' eyes bugged and his mouth dropped open.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It happened over the summer and I was going to tell you but then there was no way to say it, the time was just never right and school got in the way and… I'm sorry"

"Wow" he whispered and sat down in one of the chairs.

"Yeah" Lily whispered back, Sirius nodded in agreement.

"_And_" Sirius said after a few minutes, "I walked in on Lily and Andrews almost kissing after a date"

"What?!"

"Haha, yeah… he's cute! And, he's nice, and… and why am I justifying myself here?"

"What about Prongs?" Remus asked incredulously.

"What about him? He doesn't like Andrews, I mean Ben, does he?"

"No, not Ben" Sirius muttered under his breath.

"You can_not_ date him!" Remus stated.

"Of course I can! I can do whatever I want!"

"Hey, what's all the yelling about?" James asked as he walked into the room.

"Nothing, no yelling, what yelling? Did you hear yelling? I didn't" Sirius stuttered.

"Remus and Sirius are trying to tell me I can't date Ben! James! Tell them I can!" Lily said, pleading with him to back her up.

"You went on a date? With Andrews?" James asked, looking a little lost.

"Yeah, and he was really nice and-"

"Andrews?"

"Yeah and-"

"We'll see you guys later" Remus announced quietly. Sirius patted James on the back as he left and gave him a tight smile.

"We'll talk tomorrow" Remus told Lily and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Yeah," she nodded, looking confused as the boys left. After the portrait closed behind them Lily looked back to James.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked him. He just looked at her.

"You went on a date," He stated.

"Yes, I did, with Ben"

"Ben" he nodded.

"Yeah, are you okay?" she put her hand on his shoulder and sat next to him. "Listen, if you all really don't like him I won't date him. I mean, Sirius and Remus hate him and if you do too then he's out. I can't have my three best friends hating the guy I'm dating."

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired, I'm gonna go to bed"

"Are you sure? I mean, do you want to talk" she looked on concerned.

"Yeah, I'll see you in the morning" he smiled weakly and disappeared into his room.


End file.
